I'm Grumpy

No, really, I'm Grumpy (note the capital G).

I was out walking around the lake on Saturday morning, just keeping a look out for any interesting birdlife that might have flown in (nothing apart from the usual residents, thanks for asking) when I bumped into Helen. Not literally. She was walking around with her fearsome hound for some morning exercise so we joined forces and pootled some of the distance together.

Helen told me that the Maker pantomime was in trouble because they'd lost a cast member. Are you with me yet? No? Ok - here's the clue...

Right, now we know - yours truly will be treading the boards again (first time since The Pied Piper in January 2000) at The Energy Room in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves on 16th, 17th and 18th February.

Some of you might be thinking that a fifteen stone (ish), six-foot-two-and-a-fag-paper bloke with a white cane might not be a very convincing dwarf. I'll have you know that I'm sensitively portraying the mental anguish of a vertically challenged dwarf.

Rehearsals seem to be a tad chaotic for a show in the final stages of production, but we'll get there somehow. Now - to learn some lines. And fast.