Saturday, December 18, 2010

Self Pitying Whinge

I think I just need to get this off my chest. I'm feeling down in the dumps and thoroughly cheesed off with my lot in life as far as visual health is concerned.

I don't normally do self pity or being miserable about being partially sighted; we all have our crosses to bear and it's not a death sentence. Plenty of people have things far far worse than I do. Goodness knows it doesn't even actually physically hurt as Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) does its thing and gradually but just about perceptibly continues to diminish my field of vision.

But right now I've got a double whammy happening. For many years before I was diagnosed with RP I had frequent attacks of Iritis (AKA Uveitis), which doesn't necessarily affect one's field of vision, but does rip apart the ability to see straight lines and seriously affects the ability to bear bright lights or direct sunlight. And it bloody hurts. These attacks were almost exclusively in my right eye.

On Wednesday last, I felt a familiar and very unwelcome twinge in my left eye, checked the mirror and there was the dreadful old Iritic inflammation as clear as day. My left eye is what I laughingly refer to as my "good" eye. The right one is utterly useless. After suffering almost all of the iritic inflammations over a ten or fifteen year period, using it is like looking at everything as if it was in a hall of mirrors at the funfair. My left one, though, escaped the ravages of iritis and, corrected with spectacles and within its 35% of normal (RP affected) field of vision, is capable of 20/20 acuity in the right lighting conditions.

So - a sudden and unexpected attack of Iritis in my left eye, especially after over six years since feeling even a minor twinge (and always in the right) has left me feeling very sorry for myself. if the acuity of that eye gets knackered, then quality of life will take a definite downward turn. No wonder I'm grumpy and fed up.
Normal non-self pitying nonsense will be resumed as soon as possible.


Frankenkeith said...

Sorry to read this Joshua. Not like you at all to be wingeing so hope you feel better about it soon. It makes my return trip from Manchester yesterday by smelly and crowded Cross Country Trains seem very trivial. Even the cricket seems unimportant in comparison. Best wishes to you.

Judith said...

What a bastard of a thing! You have every right to whinge. In fact I think you're being very restrained. Good wishes being sent your way XXXX

jean said...

I remember that previous attack. You won through. The sun gets up in the morning, and goes down at night. I went to the Cheshire Home at Blagdon and there before my eyes were men of such courage,living. You are one of those. This was their mantra, that I have tried to live by. See you nexr year. Auntie Jean.