I was looking for something to plop into "quotation corner" over the festive season. John Cleese's famous tale of his childhood Christmases is just too good, so I'm going to quote it here.
Just because I can.
"The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack."