Ashes to Ashes

I've resisted the temptation so far. But I've resisted for quite long enough. Unlike an Australian batsman for example.

My nights have been disturbed affairs involving earphones and Test Match Special from 11 at night until 8 in the morning and it's all been tremendous fun (even the bit where England got beaten at Perth - although that wasn't the best bit of fun).


So, allow me to comment on the three-one drubbing that England just gave the Australians (three tests won by an INNINGS). My considered comment is "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha".


I'd like to thank Michael Vaughan of the current test Match Special team for this little gem:


What do you call a great Australian cricketer?     Retired.

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In Australia it's generally understood that LBW stands for Lost, beaten, walloped.


The Australian definition of an optimist is a batsman applying sunscreen.


The easiest job in Australian cricket is polishing the red stains off the bats.


And finally - The MItchell Johnson Song from the Barmy Army at Sydney, just as Johnson arrives to receive a Golden Duck. Perhaps the Barmies helped a bit...

"He bowls to the left....he bowls to the right,

That Mitchell Johnson....his bowling is shite."