Monday, January 31, 2011

They Said They'd Turn Me Yellow

Right - before I start on this one there's a warning for readers of a nervous disposition or of a delicate mentality. This posting features what the adult film industry calls a "money shot". If you're not sure what a money shot is - it generally happens at the end of a film made for the discerning gentleman and can be a bit messy. This posting is not of an "adult" nature, nor does it feature sexual activity - but.....

That's the warning. If you're still reading, and continue reading on to the end, it's you're own damned fault.

Today was dye test day at Torbay Hospital's Eye Clinic. Mrs The Millbrooker and I went through the routine, pretty much as we did last time, only this time we made the 08:20 ferry and took the 0853 iron horse to Newton Abbot and thence on a little bone shaker...

... to Torre. A short walk brought us to our goal and after a brief wait in the queue to tell them we'd arrived, it was just a matter of waiting around until called.

We got called and the very nice lady explained that she was going to take some photos of the back of my eyes before doing the fluoroscein injection test.

Mrs The Millbrooker was on hand to record the implement used for this procedure.
The black thing sitting atop all the expensive looking kit is the actual camera - it's a high end Nikon, upside down and its lens in effect coming out in extreme close up mode through the black protuberance directly in front of my face. That protuberance gets much much closer during the actual photography and they shine unfeasibly bright lights directly into your dilated pupils.

After taking some satisfactory snapshots, a nurse was called to administer the dye into a vein before more photos got taken; I got the warning that it might temporarily turn me yellow. I've had this done before and, although I've seen fellow victims turn quite brightly yellow, I knew the effect on my Romany-descended skin would be all but unnoticeable. Mrs The Millbrooker said there was a little tinge of what our French friends call jaune, but I don't think anyone else would have spotted it.

Lots of very uncomfortable bright lights into the retina later and Mrs The Millbrooker and I had a lunch in the hospital restaurant and headed home to await the second side effect of having fluoroscein injected into the system.

Here it comes, people - you were warned. The second side effect is bright fluorescent green wee.

train photo shamelessly stolen from

1 comment:

Judith said...

Hahahaha!!! Put me off my coffee, you did!