Some of you may have read my posting about visiting my old buddy Alan in Westbury. Alan is often thought of as "fluffy" and "lovely": sweetness and light personified.
I keep trying to tell everyone that he's actually the most cantakerous, potty-mouthed old git imaginable, but I'm mostly disbelieved.
I think I should share with you the email I've just received from Al after he read the original posting about his excellent party:
"You great big, fat, hairy-assed c**t. I hate you. Despite being on a diet for eight weeks, I am still fucking fat as I can see from the photos of me you posted on the fucking internet. Bastard c**t. Best wishes and love as always,Alan (you fucking great c**t)"